Hi Davis! I am also doing a story on Ravana but mine is more focused on Ravana. Your content and ideas in your storybook are good. I like the idea of telling your story as a court case. That really helps to put this story in a modern context. You seem to know a lot about the judicial process. It was also humorous that Judge Judy was the judge in the case. I have some suggestion to how you can make your story a little better. I noticed a lot of grammar and readability mistakes throughout your story. For example in the fifth sentence it should be “From the one on one” interview. You needed to omit the word “a.” Another mistake I noticed is that you repeated the same words and phrases in your introduction. For example in the first paragraph you said the phrase “As you know” twice. Also your word choice is wrong in a couple sentences. When Christina talks for the first time it should be “here” instead of “hear.” If you fix all of the mistakes involving grammar your introduction will be a lot better. Good luck!
Alright, I have to admit, your storybook immediately made me giggle. I think your setting and ideas are great, and you did a fantastic job of introducing what was going on. One thing I would suggest deals with the readability of your storybook--the lined paper theme is cool, but it doesn't seem to quite go with your setting. That said, if you like it, that's your design and you should go with it! Another thing is that your storybook seems to be doing an odd thing where it breaks lines unevenly, and that makes it tough to follow along with what's going on. As above, I'd suggest proofreading, just to make sure all of your sentences really say what you mean them to! I'm interested to see where your story leads, especially with Judge Judy and other famous faces interacting as characters! Your dialogue reads fairly smoothly, and that's difficult as making realistic dialogue can be pretty tough. Good work!
I was taken off guard by your introduction. It is taken a turn for an ultra usa centric storyline. There is some weird line breaking in your story that you should fix. It was sort of difficult to read on the yellow background. The story is interesting. I'm curious how you will expand this into a case or how technical you will get with the proceedings in court. The content and ideas are there however, some of your sentences need to be revisited which this will come with our revisions of our introductions. I would love to know why you took the route of Ron and these other characters of Judge Judy? What inspire you to write the battle into a court case? These are some of the questions I had while reading your introduction. Reading this aloud would help with flow and sentence structure. This is completely different from what I've read in other storytellings and storybooks.
Your storybook has an enjoyable topic; it reminds me what I learned from my legal study class, though it was a very challenging course. Watching a law case is always very happy until the analyzing part, but I do not have to do the analyzing in this course! Your cover page gives the most important conflict between the plaintiff and the defendant. As they are in modern time, they go to court without a successful settlement outside the court. Obviously they cannot reach a settle since Ravana kidnapped Rama’s wife. The theme you use is really new for me; it is like I was reading my notebook. I have a suggestion for you; if you could adjust your spaces between some words, your introduction will be much easier to read. I believe it is an accident that you copy from your word document and paste it in your page.
The rest of your storybook is good; I want to read future story to know how Ravana makes his defenses in the trial.
Hi Davis, I went to your profile trying to reading your project. However, I really had a hard time reading your introduction. It was grey in dark red background. You might have to consider the changing it. I had to copy the entire introduction and paste it on a word document to be able to read it. I suggest that you might want to make the letters white or change your background color to something else. I see that you decided to use the Rama and Ravana story to make your story book. It is a very good choice. In the beginning I was planning on making a story book about Rama and Sita’s love story and Ravana was going to be a big part of it. I hope you will be adding love story of Rama and Sita. Your introduction was very interesting to read except the fact that it was very very hard to read.
Hi Davis! It is kind of funny how we are in the ssame group again. I am also doing a story on Ravana but mine is more focused on Ravana. Your content and ideas in your storybook are good. I like the idea of telling your story as a court case. That really helps to put this story in a modern context. You seem to know a lot about the judicial process. It was also humorous that Judge Judy was the judge in the case. I like how you improved on this introduction! I can really notice all of your improvements from last week. You have a way cooler background that reminds me of the judicial process. The image that you used also fits the introduction very well because it is about a court case. I also noticed that this time the introduction is easy to read. Good job on your revisions!
What an interesting introduction to this storybook! From this viewpoint I feel that you will be able to expand very in depth into their stories. This setting also allows for the various viewpoints from the characters to be explained throughout the course of the storybook. As far as formatting issues I feel that the font for your introduction is hard to read. I understand the desire to mix up the front to something other than the traditional, but I am not sure how it adds to the story other than just being different. The background, also is challenging to read from because of the lines that seem to run directly through some lines of text. Both of those things together make the reader work harder than they ought to work, in my personal opinion. Overall I like the story it provides an excellent setting, but also a comic value that many stories lack.
Hey there! This week I am reviewing your coverage, introduction and first story. My first impression from you cover page is the it is well designed I can tell you put effort into creating your storybook and choosing your photos. I like the entire concepts of your storybook. In the beginning I was also considered going this route with my storybook so you have great execution and thought. I think your introduction is fun. One thing I noticed and it is only because when I was a kid I watched judge Judy all the time. You might consider chnaging the Baliffs statement to all rise for the honorable judge Judy. The honorable is just something I noticed was missing. I like your fun with the story as judge Judy is elevated to a higher status than the Supreme Court. This will definitely be a fun read. Your first story was also very creative. I like the image you included at the end. Overall you have a good looking storybook and I'm sure it will get better! Keep up the good work.
Hi Davis, I am commenting in regards to your project, storybook. As I have mentioned earlier, I really enjoyed your theme. And, I am glad you decided to pick Sita and Rama as your topic. I liked how you set it up as a judge Judy. I have seen Judge Judy when I was probably in high school. I thought it was so funny. I feel sad for Rama, that he had to be in a show like that I liked how you started of the story by Rama describing how he met Sita and getting out of track. One thing I found that was distracting was the lines and how the letters were kind of cut by the lines. I like the conversations between Rama and Ravana, and how Judge Judy had to keep telling Rama to be on track. I liked your writing style, as always you managed to make it funny.
StoryBook: The Introduction of the story and the first story really flowed together well. The use of Judge Judy and Ron Burgundy worked very well. Something that I liked was how you changed it into a court case. It gave it an interesting perspective because it forced the both sides to bear their grievances to one another. The transcript style of the paper fit very well with the writing style. The writing at times seemed a little choppy and it sometimes seemed like it did not flow well. For instance, in Rama the first lines that Rama says it goes from one thing to the next. One thing I like was the background of the web page, however, with the lines that appeared with the background it was sometimes hard to read what the words were. I would recommend using a darker font. Overall it was a good story but work on the flow and go a little deeper and it will become a great story.
Hi Davis, I am commenting in regards to your storybook – Rama V. Ramana. I have previously read your introduction and loved it. I liked how you have the story setting as a TV show. That is creative. A lot of people chose to do a story about either Sita or Sita and Rama. However, you chose to do a story about Rama Vs. Ramana. I liked that. I also noticed that you have made changes to your introduction from last time I was on your storybook site. Good job. I liked the picture of the courtroom in your introduction. It helps me create a picture in my mind when I am reading your story. I cannot wait for your new stories and how you story book will turn out. I am so excited. You are doing a good job on it. The picture you provided for you story Rama, I had a picture of Ravana as a beast, but in that picture, he looks more human like.
Davis, your storybook site had me racking up! First, I loved the whole Ron Burgundy thing from Anchorman in your introduction. I knew I was in for a funny adventure when I read the words “Good evening. I’m Ron Burgundy…”! Great job setting up the entire storybook! Then, your first story included a scene from a Judge Judy scenario between Rama and Sita which I thought was so creative! The only thing that I would suggest on this page would be to take out the lines or line up your text with the lines because sometimes the lines crossed in the middle of sentences and it was hard to read. Also, I do not know if you are aware (I am assuming this is a mistake, correct me if it is not), but you have Rama on your sidebar listed twice. Maybe you should use a different title if these are truly intended to be two different stories? Overall, great job! What a thrill to read!
Hi Davis. Since I haven't been to your storybook before I only read the introduction, but it looks great! I love the Ron Burgundy twist... I haven't come across many comedy spins on the story, so I was intrigued right away. Setting it as the actual news report makes it even more interesting. I think the court case will make the story very fun to follow, Beyond that, I really like the layout of the storybook. The font is fun, the colors play well with the theme. I think you did a great job. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
DAVIS!! You were just in the room, but you left to study molecular. I wish I could have read this with you in the room so you could have heard me laugh so hard! Of course you would use Ron Burgandy! That was the perfect touch to this story! Knowing you, I wasn't surprised that you incorporated Judge Judy into your story book. Classic Davis! Just wondering, why didn't you used Verconia Corningstone as the character name instead of Christina Applegate? The theme of your story was well defined and concise. It's interesting to read how you laid out the conflict between Rama and Ravana in a courtroom setting. I know nothing about legal terms, but I'm sure you're well educated in that area after watching so many Judge Judy shows. On a side note, you showed me an episode of Judge Brown earlier haha! Okay back to your storybook. I like the background of your storybook, but sometimes it's hard to read everything. I'll be back to read Ravana's side of the story. I know when I need a good laugh, I can just read your storybook!
This was my first time reading your storybook and I read your introduction and your first story. I first have to say that I like the picture that you chose for your homepage. I also like the layout that you used for your storybook.
In your introduction, I liked how you used anchorman as the inspiration. It is a great way to break up the stories and add a unique element to it. Your introduction was good and it let me know what the story was going to be about.
Your first story was good also. I liked how you have the back and forth dialogue between the two and also that you added Judge Judy. I have spent many afternoons watching courtroom dramas and I love them so I really like that you added this element.
The only critique that I have is that the font is a little hard to read. It is very thin and light colored and it was a little difficult to read. This could just be me but its something to think about. Overall, I enjoyed your storybook.
I really like the layout of your storybook! It’s very visually rich in texture and the color scheme is very complimentary to the picture that you have on your title page. The links work and navigation is easy, however there are two Rama links. There is one under the Rama v. Ravana heading and then there’s another heading that says, “Rama.” The one that’s a subheading under Rama v. Ravana works and takes me to another page. The “Rama,” that’s just another main heading takes me to a blank page. I don’t know if you’re working on something for that in the meantime, but just for your info. Also, for the introduction you have characters from Anchorman being featured. You have Ron Burgundy and Christina Applegate. I think to keep consistency with the Anchorman theme, you should have Veronica Corningstone, the character that Christina Applegate plays, instead of the actress’s real name.
For your story, I really liked how visual it was. It made it fun and exciting to read. I do have to say that it was a little hard to read also. I noticed that your theme for your storybook is like a teleprompter, to stimulate someone reading off the news. I think that the layout is good, but you should have done another font instead of cursive. I think the cursive is making it hard for me to read and follow the story. Also if you would have added a little blurb to tell the reader that "they were on" I think that the reader would have an easier time reading your post. I love the pictures in your story book, I think that they add that extra ump to your storybook. But I love how creative you were with the idea. It is something different and fascinating. Good Job!
So, from the layout of your project, I was definitely not expecting the style of your introduction at all! That being said, it was actually a pretty entertaining surprise, even if it didn’t really match my initial thoughts for what was ahead. I liked how your introduction lays out the setting of the story and places it in an understandable and more realistic place than the original myths. However, the formatting was somewhat difficult for me to read. I had to highlight and copy the text out of the page into my own document. (This may just be because I have awful eyesight, however.)
I liked the way that you have presented Rama’s side of the story so far. I’ve just started watching the show “How to Get Away with Murder,” so I am really enjoying the drama-charged atmosphere of the courtroom! I wish you good luck with the rest of the project and the semester.
Hi Davis, I had a great time reading your storytelling. You always made it funny and interesting. In addition, it was fun to have you in this online class with me; you always know how to give feedbacks in such a great way. Thank you for all the comments and feedbacks you have provided. It did help me improve my writing,
Hi Davis! This is my first time reading your Storybook! First of all, I love the picture on your Comment Wall- I got a pretty good laugh out of that! I am reading your Storybook for my extra credit, and the reason why I chose yours is because your title caught my eye- “Rama v. Ravana!” That sounds pretty intense! Your Storybook website is pretty fancy! I love your picture on your cover page- it was very descriptive of what the Storybook was going to be about. Your Introduction was very well written and clear! I liked how you wrote it as an interview and how you included Judge Judy- that was a very humorous touch! I also read your first story about Rama! It was really intriguing and the Author’s Note was very well written! If there is anything I can suggest as an improvement, it is to make sure you proofread your writing! Good job!
Hello! I am reading your story entitled Rama. I chose your story because Rama is my favorite portion of this class. Your story is really funny! I haven’t ever watched Judge Judy so it’s hard to for me to make the comparison, but from what I know you did a good job. I noticed you had a couple typos, but nothing seriously amiss. Your picture works really well with the story, but I didn’t see the link to the website for it. I know it is not a big deal but having the second Rama tab bothers me because I know that it is an easy fix. Honestly I really like the Anchorman series, but I do not know if I would have included yet another television/movie to this story. I think that it is beginning to take away from the story of Rama. Your story is really good and kept me entertained!
Hi Davis! I am also doing a story on Ravana but mine is more focused on Ravana. Your content and ideas in your storybook are good. I like the idea of telling your story as a court case. That really helps to put this story in a modern context. You seem to know a lot about the judicial process. It was also humorous that Judge Judy was the judge in the case. I have some suggestion to how you can make your story a little better. I noticed a lot of grammar and readability mistakes throughout your story. For example in the fifth sentence it should be “From the one on one” interview. You needed to omit the word “a.” Another mistake I noticed is that you repeated the same words and phrases in your introduction. For example in the first paragraph you said the phrase “As you know” twice. Also your word choice is wrong in a couple sentences. When Christina talks for the first time it should be “here” instead of “hear.” If you fix all of the mistakes involving grammar your introduction will be a lot better. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteAlright, I have to admit, your storybook immediately made me giggle. I think your setting and ideas are great, and you did a fantastic job of introducing what was going on. One thing I would suggest deals with the readability of your storybook--the lined paper theme is cool, but it doesn't seem to quite go with your setting. That said, if you like it, that's your design and you should go with it! Another thing is that your storybook seems to be doing an odd thing where it breaks lines unevenly, and that makes it tough to follow along with what's going on. As above, I'd suggest proofreading, just to make sure all of your sentences really say what you mean them to! I'm interested to see where your story leads, especially with Judge Judy and other famous faces interacting as characters! Your dialogue reads fairly smoothly, and that's difficult as making realistic dialogue can be pretty tough. Good work!
ReplyDeleteI was taken off guard by your introduction. It is taken a turn for an ultra usa centric storyline. There is some weird line breaking in your story that you should fix. It was sort of difficult to read on the yellow background. The story is interesting. I'm curious how you will expand this into a case or how technical you will get with the proceedings in court. The content and ideas are there however, some of your sentences need to be revisited which this will come with our revisions of our introductions. I would love to know why you took the route of Ron and these other characters of Judge Judy? What inspire you to write the battle into a court case? These are some of the questions I had while reading your introduction. Reading this aloud would help with flow and sentence structure. This is completely different from what I've read in other storytellings and storybooks.
ReplyDeleteYour storybook has an enjoyable topic; it reminds me what I learned from my legal study class, though it was a very challenging course. Watching a law case is always very happy until the analyzing part, but I do not have to do the analyzing in this course! Your cover page gives the most important conflict between the plaintiff and the defendant. As they are in modern time, they go to court without a successful settlement outside the court. Obviously they cannot reach a settle since Ravana kidnapped Rama’s wife. The theme you use is really new for me; it is like I was reading my notebook. I have a suggestion for you; if you could adjust your spaces between some words, your introduction will be much easier to read. I believe it is an accident that you copy from your word document and paste it in your page.
ReplyDeleteThe rest of your storybook is good; I want to read future story to know how Ravana makes his defenses in the trial.
Hi Davis, I went to your profile trying to reading your project. However, I really had a hard time reading your introduction. It was grey in dark red background. You might have to consider the changing it. I had to copy the entire introduction and paste it on a word document to be able to read it. I suggest that you might want to make the letters white or change your background color to something else. I see that you decided to use the Rama and Ravana story to make your story book. It is a very good choice. In the beginning I was planning on making a story book about Rama and Sita’s love story and Ravana was going to be a big part of it. I hope you will be adding love story of Rama and Sita. Your introduction was very interesting to read except the fact that it was very very hard to read.
ReplyDeleteHi Davis! It is kind of funny how we are in the ssame group again. I am also doing a story on Ravana but mine is more focused on Ravana. Your content and ideas in your storybook are good. I like the idea of telling your story as a court case. That really helps to put this story in a modern context. You seem to know a lot about the judicial process. It was also humorous that Judge Judy was the judge in the case. I like how you improved on this introduction! I can really notice all of your improvements from last week. You have a way cooler background that reminds me of the judicial process. The image that you used also fits the introduction very well because it is about a court case. I also noticed that this time the introduction is easy to read. Good job on your revisions!
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting introduction to this storybook! From this viewpoint I feel that you will be able to expand very in depth into their stories. This setting also allows for the various viewpoints from the characters to be explained throughout the course of the storybook. As far as formatting issues I feel that the font for your introduction is hard to read. I understand the desire to mix up the front to something other than the traditional, but I am not sure how it adds to the story other than just being different. The background, also is challenging to read from because of the lines that seem to run directly through some lines of text. Both of those things together make the reader work harder than they ought to work, in my personal opinion. Overall I like the story it provides an excellent setting, but also a comic value that many stories lack.
ReplyDeleteHey there! This week I am reviewing your coverage, introduction and first story. My first impression from you cover page is the it is well designed I can tell you put effort into creating your storybook and choosing your photos. I like the entire concepts of your storybook. In the beginning I was also considered going this route with my storybook so you have great execution and thought. I think your introduction is fun. One thing I noticed and it is only because when I was a kid I watched judge Judy all the time. You might consider chnaging the Baliffs statement to all rise for the honorable judge Judy. The honorable is just something I noticed was missing. I like your fun with the story as judge Judy is elevated to a higher status than the Supreme Court. This will definitely be a fun read. Your first story was also very creative. I like the image you included at the end. Overall you have a good looking storybook and I'm sure it will get better! Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHi Davis,
ReplyDeleteI am commenting in regards to your project, storybook. As I have mentioned earlier, I really enjoyed your theme. And, I am glad you decided to pick Sita and Rama as your topic. I liked how you set it up as a judge Judy. I have seen Judge Judy when I was probably in high school. I thought it was so funny. I feel sad for Rama, that he had to be in a show like that I liked how you started of the story by Rama describing how he met Sita and getting out of track. One thing I found that was distracting was the lines and how the letters were kind of cut by the lines. I like the conversations between Rama and Ravana, and how Judge Judy had to keep telling Rama to be on track. I liked your writing style, as always you managed to make it funny.
StoryBook:
ReplyDeleteThe Introduction of the story and the first story really flowed together well. The use of Judge Judy and Ron Burgundy worked very well. Something that I liked was how you changed it into a court case. It gave it an interesting perspective because it forced the both sides to bear their grievances to one another. The transcript style of the paper fit very well with the writing style. The writing at times seemed a little choppy and it sometimes seemed like it did not flow well. For instance, in Rama the first lines that Rama says it goes from one thing to the next. One thing I like was the background of the web page, however, with the lines that appeared with the background it was sometimes hard to read what the words were. I would recommend using a darker font. Overall it was a good story but work on the flow and go a little deeper and it will become a great story.
Hi Davis, I am commenting in regards to your storybook – Rama V. Ramana. I have previously read your introduction and loved it. I liked how you have the story setting as a TV show. That is creative. A lot of people chose to do a story about either Sita or Sita and Rama. However, you chose to do a story about Rama Vs. Ramana. I liked that. I also noticed that you have made changes to your introduction from last time I was on your storybook site. Good job. I liked the picture of the courtroom in your introduction. It helps me create a picture in my mind when I am reading your story. I cannot wait for your new stories and how you story book will turn out. I am so excited. You are doing a good job on it. The picture you provided for you story Rama, I had a picture of Ravana as a beast, but in that picture, he looks more human like.
ReplyDeleteDavis, your storybook site had me racking up! First, I loved the whole Ron Burgundy thing from Anchorman in your introduction. I knew I was in for a funny adventure when I read the words “Good evening. I’m Ron Burgundy…”! Great job setting up the entire storybook! Then, your first story included a scene from a Judge Judy scenario between Rama and Sita which I thought was so creative! The only thing that I would suggest on this page would be to take out the lines or line up your text with the lines because sometimes the lines crossed in the middle of sentences and it was hard to read. Also, I do not know if you are aware (I am assuming this is a mistake, correct me if it is not), but you have Rama on your sidebar listed twice. Maybe you should use a different title if these are truly intended to be two different stories? Overall, great job! What a thrill to read!
ReplyDeleteHi Davis. Since I haven't been to your storybook before I only read the introduction, but it looks great! I love the Ron Burgundy twist... I haven't come across many comedy spins on the story, so I was intrigued right away. Setting it as the actual news report makes it even more interesting. I think the court case will make the story very fun to follow, Beyond that, I really like the layout of the storybook. The font is fun, the colors play well with the theme. I think you did a great job. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteDAVIS!!
ReplyDeleteYou were just in the room, but you left to study molecular. I wish I could have read this with you in the room so you could have heard me laugh so hard! Of course you would use Ron Burgandy! That was the perfect touch to this story! Knowing you, I wasn't surprised that you incorporated Judge Judy into your story book. Classic Davis! Just wondering, why didn't you used Verconia Corningstone as the character name instead of Christina Applegate? The theme of your story was well defined and concise. It's interesting to read how you laid out the conflict between Rama and Ravana in a courtroom setting. I know nothing about legal terms, but I'm sure you're well educated in that area after watching so many Judge Judy shows. On a side note, you showed me an episode of Judge Brown earlier haha! Okay back to your storybook. I like the background of your storybook, but sometimes it's hard to read everything. I'll be back to read Ravana's side of the story. I know when I need a good laugh, I can just read your storybook!
This was my first time reading your storybook and I read your introduction and your first story. I first have to say that I like the picture that you chose for your homepage. I also like the layout that you used for your storybook.
ReplyDeleteIn your introduction, I liked how you used anchorman as the inspiration. It is a great way to break up the stories and add a unique element to it. Your introduction was good and it let me know what the story was going to be about.
Your first story was good also. I liked how you have the back and forth dialogue between the two and also that you added Judge Judy. I have spent many afternoons watching courtroom dramas and I love them so I really like that you added this element.
The only critique that I have is that the font is a little hard to read. It is very thin and light colored and it was a little difficult to read. This could just be me but its something to think about. Overall, I enjoyed your storybook.
I really like the layout of your storybook! It’s very visually rich in texture and the color scheme is very complimentary to the picture that you have on your title page. The links work and navigation is easy, however there are two Rama links. There is one under the Rama v. Ravana heading and then there’s another heading that says, “Rama.” The one that’s a subheading under Rama v. Ravana works and takes me to another page. The “Rama,” that’s just another main heading takes me to a blank page. I don’t know if you’re working on something for that in the meantime, but just for your info. Also, for the introduction you have characters from Anchorman being featured. You have Ron Burgundy and Christina Applegate. I think to keep consistency with the Anchorman theme, you should have Veronica Corningstone, the character that Christina Applegate plays, instead of the actress’s real name.
ReplyDeleteFor your story, I really liked how visual it was. It made it fun and exciting to read. I do have to say that it was a little hard to read also. I noticed that your theme for your storybook is like a teleprompter, to stimulate someone reading off the news. I think that the layout is good, but you should have done another font instead of cursive. I think the cursive is making it hard for me to read and follow the story. Also if you would have added a little blurb to tell the reader that "they were on" I think that the reader would have an easier time reading your post. I love the pictures in your story book, I think that they add that extra ump to your storybook. But I love how creative you were with the idea. It is something different and fascinating. Good Job!
ReplyDeleteSo, from the layout of your project, I was definitely not expecting the style of your introduction at all! That being said, it was actually a pretty entertaining surprise, even if it didn’t really match my initial thoughts for what was ahead. I liked how your introduction lays out the setting of the story and places it in an understandable and more realistic place than the original myths. However, the formatting was somewhat difficult for me to read. I had to highlight and copy the text out of the page into my own document. (This may just be because I have awful eyesight, however.)
ReplyDeleteI liked the way that you have presented Rama’s side of the story so far. I’ve just started watching the show “How to Get Away with Murder,” so I am really enjoying the drama-charged atmosphere of the courtroom! I wish you good luck with the rest of the project and the semester.
Hi Davis,
ReplyDeleteI had a great time reading your storytelling. You always made it funny and interesting. In addition, it was fun to have you in this online class with me; you always know how to give feedbacks in such a great way. Thank you for all the comments and feedbacks you have provided. It did help me improve my writing,
Hi Davis! This is my first time reading your Storybook! First of all, I love the picture on your Comment Wall- I got a pretty good laugh out of that! I am reading your Storybook for my extra credit, and the reason why I chose yours is because your title caught my eye- “Rama v. Ravana!” That sounds pretty intense! Your Storybook website is pretty fancy! I love your picture on your cover page- it was very descriptive of what the Storybook was going to be about. Your Introduction was very well written and clear! I liked how you wrote it as an interview and how you included Judge Judy- that was a very humorous touch! I also read your first story about Rama! It was really intriguing and the Author’s Note was very well written! If there is anything I can suggest as an improvement, it is to make sure you proofread your writing! Good job!
ReplyDeleteHello! I am reading your story entitled Rama. I chose your story because Rama is my favorite portion of this class. Your story is really funny! I haven’t ever watched Judge Judy so it’s hard to for me to make the comparison, but from what I know you did a good job. I noticed you had a couple typos, but nothing seriously amiss. Your picture works really well with the story, but I didn’t see the link to the website for it. I know it is not a big deal but having the second Rama tab bothers me because I know that it is an easy fix. Honestly I really like the Anchorman series, but I do not know if I would have included yet another television/movie to this story. I think that it is beginning to take away from the story of Rama. Your story is really good and kept me entertained!
ReplyDelete